I learned how to ask a stranger to take my photo long before I learned how to ask for help on the trail.
For years, my outdoor experiences were curated for a highlight reel. I wanted the shot of me standing triumphantly on the rock, looking strong, looking capable. But the irony was, inside, I felt like a fraud. I was recovering from a knee injury that had sidelined me from the sports I loved, and my confidence was shattered. The outdoors felt like a place for the "old me," and I wasn't sure the new me belonged there.
Caitlin Ward, in her essay for the She Explores anthology, talks about her brain injury and how the outdoors became her unexpected therapy . She writes about signing up for a NOLS course in Wyoming, terrified that the physical exertion would trigger her symptoms. She went anyway. She took ownership of her injury .
That resonated. So, I did something small. I drove up to the Gunks for a solo day. No summit goal, no mileage target. Just me, a pair of approach shoes, and a backpack with a sandwich. I sat on the carriage road and watched the climbers for an hour. I watched the women leading pitches, hanging on the rope to figure out the sequence, falling, trying again. It wasn't clean. It was messy.
Later, walking the ridge, I came to a tricky downclimb. Nothing technical, just a big step that my rebuilt knee screamed at me to avoid. A woman about my age was coming up the other way. We did that awkward trail dance. I finally blurted out, "Actually, do you mind if I go first? My knee is being dramatic today." She smiled. "Mine does that in the cold. Take your time."
That was it. That was the moment. Bravery, as Julie A. Hotz puts it, "can be messy" . It makes us come face-to-face with our most vulnerable selves. It’s not about being fearless; it’s about admitting you’re scared and doing it anyway.
The outdoor community isn't built only on the big moments—the summits, the thru-hikes. It's built on these small, fragile interactions. It's built on asking for a spotter when you're not sure of the move. It's built on admitting that you don't have it all figured out. And when we show up as we really are, we build bridges instead of walls .